Wrestling
Poetry has flown back into me
Ritika~ a flowing river, बहाव, a stream
My name. Identity.
“To be honest, speak without identity.”
*A Plea*
Sitting on the shower floor
seeking inspiration, there is to attain
ADHD, Adjustment Disorder
Anxiety, Depression,
Grief, an economic heart attack
All this suffering
Breaking my Brain
Breaking my Brain
Business vs. Creativity
“I am devoid” versus “My identity defines me”,
informs my work, helps me
Seek community
I want to run free, but also color within the lines
Identity…a bias or a lens
Does it undermine honesty…
or provide intuition
Intuition= wisdom+time
Time +Action+ Surrender= get over a slump
Cheat code to living
is it really that simple?
Identity stirs a false pride? A delusion?
Sitting under the shower head
Watching the flow,
Wrestling with these thoughts
Breaking my Brain
Breaking my Brain
Unanswered phone calls—ignored,
“I'm bad with calls”
“But I need you...” a silent request
text messages left on read—cast away.
My friends and siblings
slighting
my cry for help
While I ignore myself
Comforting my friends’ African immigrant mother,
“Don’t worry, she’ll always be in demand as a therapist, everyone’s depressed these days,” …* followed by cackling laughter*
…while I continue struggling to come to terms with
Breaking my Brain
Breaking my Brain
I’m not your punching bag, your big sister,
your dustbin where you
dump your trauma
Get a therapist, go shopping, leave me alone.
Sitting in the driver’s seat
unable to move, frozen in time—
Please have mercy, let me get ahead
of this curve so I’m relieved temporarily
from the micro-shocks of our world today.
Now, more than ever—BE KIND TO ALL
For those biggest smiles, heartiest laughs, silently cry
& karma is real. Save yourself, so
we can attain the middle ground, or
the best case scenario for our
collective, the worst being
Something so bad, resulting in
Breaking our Brains
Breaking our Brains.
Did you know—that’s not even scientifically possible?
But then why does it seem so plausible?